Monthly Archives: November 2009

The Church Is On Fire

Exhibit A

Harry Hill’s TV Burp this Saturday featured the shock Emmerdale storyline about the church being on fire, causing many people in the village to exclaim “THE CHURCH IS ON FIRE!”:

 

Exhibit B

And on this weekend’s X Factor we said “ciao” (as in bye bye) to Jamie Archer, the one who did “Sex On Fire” by Kings of Leon for his audition:

 

Conclusion

Presumably that leaves young Jamie free next weekend to appear on TV Burp singing a special rendition of the song, cleverly changing the lyrics to “Oooh, the church is on fire”.

Positive reactions, etc?

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FollowFriday Videos

There have been some great #followfriday videos recently (not including mine, which are derivative and pointless, obviously), notably from @diaryofaledger and @tylermassey (as ever!), so I thought I would collect a few here. As well as having the coolest people on Twitter in them, they are pretty sweet. Feel free to add links to other #followfriday videos or suggest other such videos. Enjoy!

#followfriday by @diaryofaledger

@_3_’s 2nd #followfriday – “Once More With Intensity”

@tylermassey’s #followfriday 06/11

@_3_’s 1st #followfriday – ” ガ ッ ツ だ ぜ “

@tylermassey’s #followfriday “Beatle Edition”

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Computer Error Haiku

Microsoft have announced that they will replace their current unhelpful error messages with Haiku poetry error messages. Haiku is a form of Japanese poetry, consisting of 17 moras (or on), in three metrical phrases of 5, 7, and 5 moras respectively. They are used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity.

Here are some of the new-style error messages.

The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold everything!
But still we cannot.

Having been erased,
The document you’re seeking
Must now be retyped.

10,000 Things
How long do any persist?
Explorer is gone.

Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows
I begin again.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

The code was willing!
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot
Order will return.

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

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The Golden Age of Video by Ricardo Autobahn

This video is made of win. Full lyrics and sources below…

 

Lyrics (Script?)

1,2,1,2,3,4
We accept her, one of us, we accept her, one of us!
Gooble gobble gooble gobble!
We accept her, we accept her!
We accept her, one of us, we accept her, one of us!
Gooble gobble gooble gobble!
We accept her, we accept her! (Freaks)

(We-we) we came, we saw, we kicked its ass, (Ghostbusters)
I was testing you – and you passed, (School of Rock)
Dental plan! Lisa needs braces, (The Simpsons)
Be required to fart on a regular basis, (South Park)
I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse, (The Godfather)
Channel 13 – Eyewitness news!
Robocop, who is he?
Dead or alive you’re coming with me. (Robocop)

In a hurry to be fed, beady eyes and big blue head. (Sesame Street) <– vid clip 😀

I’m telling the truth Doc, you gotta believe me, (Back to the Future)
Why does everything I whip leave me? (The Simpsons Movie)
My beautiful chocolate! Candy is dandy, (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)
Fava beans and a nice Chianti, (Silence of the Lambs)
You can count on Slippery Pete, (Seinfeld)
Suicide will be nice and neat! (Back to the Future)
I didn’t build the Panama canal, (Night at the Museum)
Open the pod bay doors please, HAL, (2001: A Space Odyssey)

These aren’t the droids you’re looking for,
These aren’t the droids we’re looking for, (Star Wars)
I am not a number I am a free man! (The Prisoner)
Rosebud. (Citizen Kane)
To The Idiotmobile! (Seinfeld)
Right away Michael, (Knight Rider)
I-I-I-I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. (The Prisoner)

We came, we saw, we kicked its ass, (Ghostbusters)
You don’t understand I coulda had class, (On the Waterfront)
Round and tasty on a bun, (Sesame Street)
Ooh Zippy look what you’ve done! (Rainbow)
Finally! Cast off those lines! (Pirates of the Caribbean)
No, I’ve been nervous lots of times, (Airplane)
Red Rum! What’s the matter honey? (The Shining)
Just robbed Boss Hogg all of his money! (The Dukes of Hazzard)

We came, we saw, we kicked its ass, (Ghostbusters)
Writing checks your body can’t cash, (Top Gun)
I was elected to lead, not read, (The Simpsons Movie)
I feel the need – the need for speed, (Top Gun)
Watch out for snakes, (Mystery Science Theater 3000)
a good man’s loafer, (The Man Who Knew Too Little)

HQ – my hat looks like a muffin – over, (Mystery Science Theater 3000)
My god it’s full of stars, (2001: A Space Odyssey)
There was no driver in the car.. (The Car)

In the car (repeat)

Well you see I’m in hot pursuit! (The Dukes of Hazzard)

There are only two things I love in this world – everybody and television! (30 Rock)
♫ The Simpsons ♫ (The Simpsons)
Ugh – you must be shrooming, (Family Guy)
Wait for me Moomin! (The Moomins)
Cross live to meet the host of that show, Meat Boy, (The Micallef Program)
I want to go to there. (30 Rock)

We came, we saw, we kicked its ass, (Ghostbusters)
An oil tycoon – like a.. moustache, (Starsky & Hutch)
Nice beaver! I just had it stuffed, (The Naked Gun)
I don’t give a shit, close enough, (Blow)
Where’s me washboard? I’ll get me coat, (The Fast Show)
Y-y-y-you’re gonna need a bigger boat, (Jaws)
What’d she say? I think she bought it, (Anchorman)
Suck it monkeys! I’m goin’ corporate! (30 Rock)
C’mon let’s take a drive! A drive? (Cars)
Number 5 is alive! (Short Circuit)
It’s only a laugh, no harm done, (It Couldn’t Happen Here)
Pickles, french fries, yum yum yum, (Sesame Street)
Bueller, Bueller, Bueller, (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off)
It’s 2 degrees cooler, (Good Morning, Vietnam)
The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long, (Blade Runner)
Six words in the whole song. (This is Spinal Tap)

We-we-we accept her, one of us, we accept her, one of us!
Gooble gobble gooble gobble!
We accept her, we accept her! (Freaks)
You are number 6 (The Prisoner) 5 (Short Circuit) 4 3 2 (sources needed)
I am not a number, I am a free man (The Prisoner)

We came, we saw, we kicked its ass, (Ghostbusters)
Give me my 20,000 in cash, (The Big Lebowski)
We came, we saw, we kicked its ass, (Ghostbusters)
I think you woke up the dead with that blast (Back to the Future)
We came, we saw, we kicked its ass, (Ghostbusters)
I think fast, I talk fast, (Pulp Fiction)
We came, we saw, we kicked its ass, (Ghostbusters)
Lois, this is not my Batman glass. (Family Guy)

 

The Golden Age Of Video is a promotional device for the forthcoming untitled Ricardo Autobahn album. Video directed, produced and edited by Rev. Diva Schematic. Download mp3 of the song.

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